The Heavies will be sharing the stage at 2018 Wheelsfest!

Hey everybody, come on out and be a part of the fantastic Wheelsfest 2018 event this year on October 6th (all-day event) in Kingsport, TN featuring some of the area’s coolst vintage cars, street rods, and just plain cool rides! The Heavies will be sharing the stage with theRagle Brothers!


What a night in Knoxville!

The Heavies had too much fun working with Comedians Julie Scoggins and Josh Phillips at the Open Chord in Knoxville Friday night! Rock on folks see ya’ at the next one! Be sure and find these two comedians online and follow them – they are crazy!!!!

Heavies are joining the Comedy of Julie Scoggins!

Knoxville fans! Friday August 24th, the Real Life Heavies will be performing following the crazy comedy of Julie Scoggins at the Open Chord on Kingston Pike!

You don’t want to miss this show! You can find out mote about Julie at!

Julie’s regularly heard on XM/Sirius Blue Collar Radio, as well as many syndicated stations including the John Boy & Billy Show, and the Bob & Sheri Show, (Charlotte, NC), & the Bob & Tom Show (Indianapolis, IN).

A Southern girl with universal appeal, Julie’s shows sell out from Florida to Oregon. Folks actually WANT to sit in the front row & have been known to return a second night, just so they can bring friends that haven’t yet seen her.

“Phyllis Diller started comedy at 37 years old & so did I. She went on to have a fabulous career that lasted over 40 years. I hope to be just as fortunate. It’s so awesome to be doing exactly what I feel like I’m meant to do!”.



RLH is Gearing up for a Winter Tour!

We’re excited to announce that we’ll be putting together a Winter tour for 2018-19 with details to be announced soon! This tour will be to support the anticipated release of our second record… Please stay tuned for more info as it becomes available!

New Video! Who’s Your Lion?

Check out the new video for “Who’s Your Lion?” by the Real Life Heavies! A very cool experience putting this one together. We filmed it in a good friend’s basement with vintage motorcycles as a background and wore our unique LION MASKS! I gotta’ tell ya’ we were burning up in those masks…. very hot! The song “Who’s Your Lion?” is on the IF BREAKING BAD WAS A BAND album – available at the Real Life Heavies website here – or on iTunes, CDBaby, or Amazon!

Mom! We’re out of White Rain!

It was 1988 and my mom was yelling at me because if I didn’t hurry up we’d be late getting me to school on time. If I remember correctly I was blow drying my hair upside down and in shock that we were out of White Rain. I mean how could that industrial-sized can ever run out of hair spray? Mom kept yelling so I straightened up and watched my Bon Jovi hair fall back into “regular person mode”. I sighed and straightened out my four or five fake gold chains, unbuttoned another button … then buttoned it back up and unlocked the bathroom door…

This was hard training to be a rock star as a junior in high school, dreaming about the talent show coming up soon and what song me and the guys could pull off for the screaming fans.

Jeff Lane 1988
Jeff Lane circa 1988

I guess this is about the time I caught the rock-n-roll fever.  I had been taking guitar lessons from the baddest-ass guitar player in town, Terry McCoy at Joseph’s Music Center and had lied about my age to get a job and buy my dream guitar, a Washburn A10-K like Quiet Riot’s Carlos Cavazo played. It was like 800 bucks and this was 1988 for God’s sake….. but I did it! I managed to stay employed at Food City long enough to buy it and had been playing my ass off.  Yeah this is what I wanted to do with my life… I was sure of it.

Fast forward to the big talent show of 1988, me and some other musicians had gathered in a living room to discuss what we might actually play tomorrow morning and we came up with “Youth Gone Wild” by Skid Row and “Rock Me” by Great White. We practiced all day and night and took a bunch of smoke breaks of course. The next morning I was sick to my stomach as I walked into the gymnasium and its high-powered fluorescent lights. I took a deep breath and there we were, on stage and loud as all Hell, but surprisingly the crowd wasn’t rocking, they were just sitting there in their Members Only jackets with their book bags staring at us with the teachers! I felt sick but I pressed on with my brothers in arms.

When we struck the last chord of our performance I flailed my guitar pick into the audience and quickly exited the stage into the locker room hallway. It was then to my dismay that I experienced the severe punishment that comes along with the quest for rock-n-roll when a scrawny teenager ran up to me from the bleachers and said “excuse me sir…. here’s your pick.

I kept my chin up and thanked the little fella, then I walked away swearing I would never ever do this again…